In The Name Of Love
by Spikes Bint
Summary: Spike ressurrects Buffy, with tragic results, set immeadiatly after the gift
1. Default Chapter

In The Name Of Love  
  
By Spike's Bint  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
Post "The Gift"  
  
They all stood there in perfect silence, Giles, Willow, Dawn, Tara, and Xander; he was cradling the injured Anya in his arms. Spike walked forward to see what they were all looking at. As he saw the broken body on the ground he crumpled to his knees; his legs unable to support his grief filled frame. The sun was coming up fast, he wanted to go to her, but the light kept him in the shadows, Buffy was gone, the sobs which racked his body mingled with the other cries of the scoobies.  
  
Spike wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his leather coat. The suns rays were getting brighter by the moment, he could feel himself start to burn, but he didn't care. The slayer was no more; he was enveloped in his own private hell. He almost didn't feel the hand on his shoulder; he looked up into the tear stained face of Buffy's younger sister.  
  
"Spike, you must go, you are starting to sizzle". Dawn told him gently.  
  
"I don't care," He said bowing his head.  
  
"Please Spike, If not for your sake then for mine, I couldn't bear to lose any one else," she sobbed.  
  
"Nibblet, their will always be people here for you, who will love and care for you, don't be afraid, " said Spike looking at the others.  
  
Spike rose slowly up on unsteady legs, he looked into Dawn's face and remembered his words to Buffy, to protect Dawn. He couldn't do that as a pile of ashes.  
  
"Ok bit. I'll go" He smiled sadly at her anxious face.  
  
He took one more look at Buffy's motionless body, pulling up the collar of his coat over his head; he ran.  
  
Spike was back inside his crypt, not really remembering how he'd gotten there. He slammed the door shut and walked over to the TV table, picking up the bottle of vodka, which rested there. Twisting off the lid, he raised the bottle to his lips and drank deeply, the raw liquor burned at his throat; he welcomed the pain as he sank into the armchair and layback closing his eyes.  
  
The exhaustion of the last few days unexpectedly claimed him as he surrender into the arms of Morpheus. The bottle slipped from his hand to the floor. How long he had slept he did not know, but when he awoke it was to pale moonlight flooding his home. Feeling more than a little disorientated; he sprang up from the chair, thinking it must be time to go patrolling with Buffy. He groaned aloud as the events of the last few hours came flooding back to haunt him, Buffy would never patrol again; she would never beat him or drive him mad. He slumped back into the chair and looked around for his missing bottle. His head shot up at the sound of something moving in his lower domain, he got up and went over to his weapons chest and removed a large knife.  
  
He hoped it was a big demon; he needed something to vent this building anger that burned within his chest. He went over to the ladder and peered down the hole. He quietly descended; as he reached the bottom rung he scanned the area, noticing a small movement out of the corner of his eye. He relaxed as he saw it was only Dawn.  
  
"Hey Dawn, what are you doing here?" He asked.  
  
Dawn lay on the bed curled into a ball; her eyes were fixed on the cave wall.  
  
"I had to get away, I couldn't take being in that house a moment longer," she cried.  
  
Spike looked at her but said nothing; he sensed she needed to talk, and to talk to someone who would really listen.  
  
"This is all my fault Spike, Buffy is dead because of me," she said turning her head into the pillows.  
  
Spike struggled with his inner demons as he watched her cry her heart out, he was still new to all this. He remembered the time when he had gone with a shotgun to kill Buffy, and he had found her on her back porch; tears running down her face and he had awkwardly comforted her.  
  
He tried to banish the thoughts of Buffy from his mind knowing that Dawn needed him. He sat on the bed next to her and stroked her hair and patted her shoulder. Her cries lessened.  
  
"Dawn, don't blame yourself, if any one let you and Buffy down, it was me; I promised her I would protect you. A fine job I did of that". He said bitterly.  
  
They were both startled by a loud banging on the crypt door.  
  
"Better see who that is, probably the search party out looking for you nibblet" He said.  
  
He went back up the ladder; Dawn in his wake. He had just got his feet firmly on the ground when the door burst open. Dawn stood next to him. She grabbed onto his arm otherwise she would have fallen. There was Buffy with a smile pasted on her face as if the last few hours had never been.  
  
"Dawn!" Buffy said.  
  
Spike caught Dawn just in time, as she fell unconscious in his arms. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Spike lifted Dawn into his arms and placed her in his armchair. His attention focused on "Buffy" standing in the doorway of his crypt. He looked at her and knew immediately what Dawn had failed to see; it was the Buffy Bot. She strode into his crypt in her bouncy mechanical way.  
  
"Spike! What's wrong with Dawn, is she broken?" said the Buffybot.  
  
Spike closed his eyes at the sight of her, he could hardly bear to look at her, and it was too soon.  
  
"Maybe Willow could fix her, she fixed me, after that Glory took my head off".  
  
Spike finally found his tongue. "She is not sodding broken, she has fainted that's all". Snapped Spike.  
  
The Buffy Bot frowned and knelt down beside Dawn. Dawn was just starting to stir.  
  
"Nnnnnh" murmured Dawn. She opened her eyes. "Buffy!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Which Buffy? I am the other Buffy," said the bot.  
  
Hope that had been shining in Dawn's eyes was soon extinguished when she realised it wasn't her sister.  
  
"What are you doing here"? Said Dawn sadly.  
  
"Willow sent me here to look for you, every one is searching for you; why did you run away?" Asked 'Buffy'  
  
Dawn ignored the Bot, turning towards Spike "How could Willow do this to me she must have known how I would feel seeing it," said Dawn pointing at Buffy.  
  
"Don't think it even occurred to her pet, no one is thinking straight at the moment," He replied.  
  
"Well I guess I'd better go then; thanks Spike," sighed Dawn.  
  
"All part of the service love" He smiled at her.  
  
Left alone again, with his thoughts. He walked over to the fridge in the corner; opening it he reached in for a container of pig's blood, he lifted it to his lips to drink. He took a swallow of the cold liquid, and then smashed the remainder against the wall.  
  
"All part of the bleedin' service" he mocked himself aloud.  
  
If he had done what he promised then none of this would have happened. Spike could not understand how he'd let "Doc" get the better of him. All he could think of, as he'd fell from the tower was that he had failed Buffy and Dawn. The jumbled thoughts in his head were driving him slowly insane. He needed to get out of here. Picking up his coat from one of the stone coffins, he shrugged into it and left.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spike made his way to "Willies place"; he needed to forget for a while, drinking himself into oblivion sounded like a really good idea at the moment. The place was pretty empty. Well that suited him fine, he wasn't great company at the moment. He leant against the bar and got Willie's attention.  
  
"Your usual Spike," asked Willie.  
  
Spike nodded in answer. He swallowed the blood and vodka in one quick gulp, slamming the empty glass on the bar. He scanned the near deserted room and spied a Vexira demon sitting alone in a dark corner. He felt a good fight would be just what the doctor ordered right now to work off some of this self-loathing. Spike walked over to his unsuspecting prey.  
  
"Hey Vexira!" The demon looked up at Spike and snarled, then looked down at his drink, ignoring Spike.  
  
"Hey I was talking to you, you ugly piece of Sh-"  
  
Spike got no further as Willie came up behind him and poked him in the back. Spike turned on his heel to face the sweaty little man. Willie brandished a baseball bat.  
  
"Spike you better leave, it took me six months to pay for all the damages in here last time you decided to cause trouble!" said Willie nervously.  
  
Even though he knew Spike couldn't hurt him with that chip in his head, the blonde vampire still scared the life out of him. Spike held his hands up in surrender; as he left threw a couple of bills on the bar.  
  
As he walked out into the night air, his feet took him subconsciously; up the path to the Summers home. Lights blazed in every window. He stood outside the front door trying to decide whether to knock or not, Suddenly the decision was taken away from him as the front door swung open. Xander stood there scowling  
  
"What are you doing here Spike?" Xander demanded.  
  
Willow came up behind Xander to see what was going on. "Xander! Spike obviously feels like the rest of us right now, let him in, after all what harm can he do?" exclaimed Willow.  
  
"Thanks for reminding me Red" said Spike.  
  
He crossed over the threshold. Giles was seated on the sofa, his glasses on the coffee table, his eyes were red rimmed and unfocused. Anya was sprawled out in one of the armchairs fast asleep, obviously not losing any sleep over Buffy's demise.  
  
"Where's Dawn?" Spike asked.  
  
"Oh she is upstairs, Tara is with her". Said Willow.  
  
Spike relaxed at these words. He had promised Buffy he would watch out for Dawn and he was determined that nothing would happen to her now that big sis wasn't around to protect her.  
  
Willow sat down on the sofa next to Giles. She put her hand on his shoulder. Giles jumped at the contact.  
  
"Giles we have to start talking funeral arrangements you know" She said gently.  
  
Giles took in a ragged breath. "Yes I know, but it just makes it so much more real and final" He said.  
  
"Any chance of a cuppa?" asked Spike.  
  
"Look evil dead, you want something then you will have to get it yourself". Snapped Xander  
  
"Bloody poof!" Spike muttered under his breath.  
  
He walked into the kitchen, and switched on the kettle. He opened the cupboard searching for tea bags, his hand paused in mid air as the phone rang. He let it ring for a couple of times and as none of the scoobies came in to answer it, he picked up the handset.  
  
"Hello?" He said.  
  
He had never been that comfortable with phones.  
  
"Hello, is that Rupert Giles?" The voice said on the other end.  
  
Spike walked over to the entrance to the lounge he quickly glanced at Giles and walked back into the kitchen. "Speaking" replied Spike.  
  
"This is the Sunnydale funeral home, we are calling to let you know that the hospital morgue has just released Miss Summer's body into our care".  
  
"What's taking Spike so long in the kitchen?" asked Xander  
  
"I'd better go and see if he is okay," Said Willow.  
  
She got up from the sofa walking into the kitchen. "Spike you alright?" She said to the empty room.  
  
The backdoor was wide open; she jumped as the kettle clicked off, Willow walked over to the backdoor and closed it.  
  
"Thanks for closing the door on your way out" She said to herself sarcastically.  
  
She then noticed the phone resting on the counter; she picked it up, Willow thought she could hear a voice.  
  
"Hello?" she said.  
  
"What happened to Mr Giles?" asked the man on the other end.  
  
"Sorry, I will just get him," said Willow.  
  
The man sighed impatiently.  
  
"Look, I just wanted to let who ever know that Miss Summers body is now in our care, please could you just pass on the message to Mr Giles or the next of kin."  
  
Willow replaced the receiver and walked back into the lounge. The occupants looked up at her.  
  
"Well?" asked Xander.  
  
"I think we may have a problem" Said Willow 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Spike peered in the window of the funeral home. It was deserted and almost in darkness except for a small security light. He went around to the back alley of the building. Wrinkling his nose in disgust, the place reeked of death. He found his way to the rear entrance and tested the doors; they were firmly locked. They would prove no barrier to his greater strength, which he proved a moment later by violently kicking them open.  
  
One of the doors swung on a solitary hinge and fell to the floor as he brushed past it. He quickly located the embalming room, hoping he was not too late. Spike switched on the light, squinting against the brilliance of the florescent lighting.  
  
There was a whole wall of little body fridges, each with it's own number. There had to be some way of identifying the occupants thought Spike hopefully. He really was not in the mood to search through so many human remains. He tried to see if he could catch her scent; it was fruitless, the smell of embalming fluid overpowered him.  
  
Spike walked over to the desk in the corner, after much rummaging of the papers on its surface, he found what he was looking for. It was the schedule for tomorrow. He noted Buffy's name was at the top of the list. Fridge number 11, Spike dropped the piece of paper to the floor and located Buffy's resting place. He grabbed a hold of the stainless steel handle, pausing for a moment before opening the door.  
  
Her golden blonde hair peeked out from the top of the white sheet. Spike gulped at the sight, he raised a finger and stroked its softness, like he had done a thousand times before in his dreams. He pulled the tray out and peeled back the sheet to uncover her pale lifeless face. She looked like a sleeping angel, Spike wept at the sight that met his eyes. He put an arm under her holding her cold body to him. Her head lolled to one side at an unnatural angle, Spike flinched at the sound of the bones grinding. This felt so wrong to him; she was only 20 and had barely begun to live. He was 126 and look what he had done with his unlife. This could not be the end, only the night before, they had come to an understanding, and he had started to hope that Buffy's feelings toward him were more than loathing.  
  
There must be something that could be done. Well what ever he could do, it certainly was not leave her here so they could carve her up and pump her full of chemicals. He wrapped the sheet around her body and lifted her from the tray. He turned to leave walking straight into Giles and Xander.  
  
"Spike; put her back". Demanded Giles.  
  
"No way, do you think I am going to leaver her here alone and in the dark?" asked Spike.  
  
Xander levelled his cross bow at Spike  
  
"I will use this Spike". He said menacingly.  
  
"Go ahead; you'd be doing me a favour mate". He sneered.  
  
Xander's finger momentarily tightened on the trigger. Willow entered the room, her face paling at Buffy's lifeless form resting in Spike's arms. It was all the distraction Spike needed to make his escape. He pushed past Giles and Xander, ignoring the shooting pain in his head and ran headlong through the nearest window; shielding Buffy from the worst of it.  
  
"We have to find him; who knows what he plans to do with her body". Said Giles urgently.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Xander.  
  
"Let's hope we never have to find out," said Giles.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spike ran harder and faster than he had ever ran in his whole 'life'. Even the added burden of Buffy's corpse did little to slow him down. He had to hide her and fast. The scoobies were never more than one step behind him, and he was pretty much sure that was something that wouldn't change even without their leader. His crypt was out of the question that was the first place they would look. The initiative caves would be perfect! he thought. He knew them like the back of his hand and it was possibly the last place her friends would look. Spike easily found the entrance he was looking for even though it had been partially obscured by the growing vegetation. He entered the dingy interior of the cave, ignoring the burning pain in his arms from having carried her so far. He brought her to rest on the floor of the cave.  
  
"I have to leave you here pet, but I will be back and soon". He kissed her cold breathless lips and set off into the night.  
  
Xander and Giles silently crept into Spike's crypt, it soon became obvious to them both that neither Spike nor Buffy were there.  
  
"What are we going to do? And more importantly what are we going to tell Dawn"? Asked Xander.  
  
"Dawn must not be told; we will find Buffy before it comes to that" answered Giles.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spike entered Doc's home with ease. The weasel hadn't bothered to lock up before he decided to assist Glory. He almost slipped in the blue puddle of congealed demon blood on the floor. Had it only been last night that he and Xander had been here? He thought. It almost seemed like a lifetime ago. Doc had helped Dawn when she had wanted to raise her mother from the dead; Spike knew that there was a chance that Buffy could come back wrong. He was willing to take that chance and follow it through, unlike Dawn who had broken the spell in the last instant. Spike read the spines of the old books stopping at a large familiar looking tome. He pulled it from the shelf and leafed through its dusty pages until he came across what he was looking for. Spike tore the relevant page from the book and went in search of the things necessary to perform the ritual. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 The house was in darkness, Dawn looked at the clock on the bedside table 2:00am. Tara had gone to bed several hours ago, the others had still not returned otherwise she would have heard them. She was still puzzled as to why they had left so suddenly. Giving up any pretence of trying to sleep she pulled back the covers and sat up. The slight thud of the back door could be heard, thinking they must be back now she quietly crept to her slightly opened door and listened for voices. It was quiet and still, something didn't seem right to her, she was sure she hadn't imagined the noise.  
  
"Better get reinforcements" She said to herself.  
  
Dawn knelt on the floor and put her hand under the bed, fumbling around until her hand rested on the baseball bat.  
  
Spike entered the Summers home through the backdoor, cursing as the wind caught it, closing it none too gently. He stood still, listening to see if any one had heard it. After a few seconds he relaxed and opened the basement door, flicking on the switch proceeded down the stairs. The room was filled with cardboard boxes, luckily for Spike they were all neatly labelled. Joyce could not be faulted for her organisation skills he thought gladly. He located the box with 'Family photos' scrawled on the side.  
  
Opening the box he stared into Buffy's eyes. After she had told him the only chance he had had with her, was when she was unconscious, he'd returned all the pictures of her that he previously stolen. It looked like no one had been in the box since as his favourite picture of her was still at the top of the pile. He snatched it out of the box and stuffed it in his pocket.  
  
"Spike! What are you doing in the basement?" said Dawn.  
  
"Shhhhhhh" said Spike urgently  
  
"It's okay, only Tara and I are home at the moment and she is asleep upstairs" Dawn informed him.  
  
"Well we wouldn't want to wake the witch would we?" said Spike meaningfully.  
  
Dawn frowned at him, "I know something is going on! The others have been gone for hours, as usual no one tells me anything". She finished angrily.  
  
"Haven't got the time to explain now nibblet, times a wasting," He said, quickly kissing her on the forehead.  
  
With that Spike was gone, Dawn looked at the box Spike had been searching through, what would he want with those? She thought to herself. There was something familiar to this entire scenario.  
  
"Think brain think!" she said aloud. Suddenly she remembered,  
  
"Spike!" she shouted urgently, but it was no use, he was long gone.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The Magic Box was a piece of cake; Spike was in through the back door in seconds. Giles really should think about updating the security on this place he mused. He had expected one of the scoobies to be guarding the place but it was deserted. He quickly located the things needed for the ritual, stuffing it all into one of the Magic Box's shiny bags. Well that was the easy part he congratulated himself. He still had a grumpy Gorrah demon to deal with.  
  
He entered Buffy's training room and removed a large axe from the wall, pausing for a moment he savoured the scent of her, which clung to the room like a second skin. The bell from the front door of the Magic box jangled, waking Spike from his stupor. He quickly ran out into the night as Giles and Xander entered the shop.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spike entered the sewer, leaving the bags near the entrance; raising the axe in readiness. Last time he had been here, Dawn had come with him. He turned the corner, which opened out, into a larger chamber. There in the filth lay the Gorrah demon with a nest full of eggs. Unfortunately he did not have the element of surprise this time, as the Gorrah was very much awake. Inching slowly forward he struck at the snarling monster with it's multiple heads.  
  
He emerged from the sewer five minutes later clutching an egg under his arm, he picked up his bags and headed for the initiative caves. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The sky was growing lighter as Spike entered the caves. He had been worried that one of the scoobies might have guessed where he had hidden the body, but she was still there; maybe luck was on his side after all. He got his lighter out and lit the candles he had swiped from the Magic Box, setting them down on the cave floor.  
  
He proceeded to make a sacred circle. Placing a bowl and Buffy's photo in the middle. Spike cracked the egg over the bowl. Everything was ready for him to begin the incantation. Spike knelt down beside Buffy; he picked up her hand and raised it to his lips.  
  
"Soon luv" He whispered in the silence.  
  
He sat on the floor, keeping hold of Buffy's hand.  
  
"Bone flesh breath, yours eternally, bone flesh breath, I beg of you return to me". He chanted three times.  
  
His eyes never leaving Buffy's pale face. Her body lay motionless, no sign the incantation had worked. Spike's shoulders slumped in defeat, still clasping Buffy's cold dead hand. His head shot up as he felt a slight movement beneath his fingers. He felt her wrist, there was weak pulse beating beneath the skin. Buffy's eyes snapped open; she gasped huge lungfuls of air into her body. She sat up and screamed.  
  
It was the loudest blood-curdling scream Spike had ever hear in his unlife, and he'd heard a few. He leant over her, gently trying to shake her, she continued to wail, Spike lifted his hand and briskly slapped her face. He hated himself for striking her but it was all he could think of to do, it had the desired effect; she closed her mouth and looked into his eyes. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Buffy continued looking into Spike's eyes. She opened her mouth as if to say something, closing it again.  
  
"Buffy?" Spike asked gently.  
  
Her eyes widened as if she'd suddenly became aware of who she was and where she was. Spike reached out a hand to touch her bare shoulder. Buffy reared back as if she had been burned and crawled into a dark corner of the cave.  
  
"Don't come near me". She said shakily.  
  
Spike got to his feet, dusting the dirt of the cave floor from his jeans.  
  
"Don't be afraid, I want to help you". He said.  
  
"You can't help us" she replied.  
  
"Who? There's only you and I here," said Spike, puzzled.  
  
A hideous laugh emanated from the darkened corner.  
  
"That's what you think," said a deep guttural voice.  
  
Spike paled, his already fair complexion turned paper white. "Buffy" stood up and walked out of the shadows. There was an unnatural light in her eyes. She smiled an evil smile and walked towards Spike. Her hips swayed seductively, letting her morgue sheet slip from her body. She came to stop inches from Spike, looking up into his eyes, her hands on her hips; she licked her lower lip.  
  
"Do you want this body vampire?" She purred.  
  
Spike could not help looking up and down her naked form.  
  
"Is that a trick question?" He asked.  
  
Her hand snaked around the back of his neck as she tried to pull his face down for a kiss.  
  
Spike's inner demon wrestled with him for a second; after all he had wanted this forever since he had fallen in love with the slayer.  
  
"No!" he ground out.  
  
He grabbed hold of her shoulders, shaking her none too gently. Buffy's face cleared and she let out a small cry as she realised she was naked in Spike's arms, she turned and grabbed the sheet off the ground, her face burning red in the candlelight. Safely covered up, she looked at Spike, her usual annoyance pasted on her face.  
  
"That's my girl," said Spike in his usual cocky manner.  
  
"I am not your girl; and how did I end up naked?" she snapped.  
  
"You mean you don't remember?" he asked.  
  
"I feel strange," She said.  
  
"Well that's to be expected after being dead for over a day, but I think there's more to it than that" Spike told her.  
  
"Like what?" she asked shivering in the coolness of the cave.  
  
"I mean the bit about you coming on to me, I know that you wouldn't normally do that to me unless I was the last "man" on earth," he said, heavy irony lacing his voice.  
  
Buffy looked at the cave floor, remaining silent.  
  
"Buffy what did you mean when you said I can't help you?" he asked.  
  
"We don't want to talk about it," she said.  
  
"Why do you keep talking in the plural sense?" he asked, puzzled.  
  
"Haven't you figured it out yet Spike? I thought you were a master vampire" She sneered.  
  
"No need for the insults luv" he said.  
  
"Well if you really want to know, I think you brought back more than me, it feels a little crowded in here," she said tearfully.  
  
Buffy's lip trembled and her eyes glazed over with unshed tears.  
  
"I am scared Spike, what have you done to me? I can feel something so evil inside my skin, oh god why did you bring me back?"  
  
Spike enfolded her in his arms as she wept bitterly. Had he done the wrong thing? Had he put his own grief and selfish needs before hers? Spike felt a great heaviness in his chest. He'd made such a mess of things. His only comfort was that Dawn was ignorant of his actions.  
  
They sat on the cave floor. Buffy let her head rest on Spike's shoulder. She shivered again. Spike slipped off his leather coat and placed it over her.  
  
"Thanks, I can't stay you know that don't you" She asked  
  
"What do you mean?" Spike asked fearfully.  
  
"This thing that's inside me cannot be allowed to stay in this world, it's talking in my head to me right now".  
  
"Can't we get red to do something about that, like an exorcism or something" asked Spike grasping at straws  
  
"No, I can feel it, it's joined to my soul, it's a part of me, we are one of the same the only way to separate us is death". She finished.  
  
"What's to be done?" said Spike.  
  
Buffy breathed deeply and looked up into Spike's piercing blue gaze. Understanding her silent message in them, he pulled away from her.  
  
"No! I cannot lose you again," he said fervently.  
  
"Spike, I know how you feel about me, I was starting to feel the same about you before my nosedive into eternity" She admitted.  
  
Spike's eyes widened at her admission.  
  
"Couldn't you tell, how many times did I trust you to look after Dawn and my mother when they were in danger from Glory?" she asked.  
  
"Well.I tried not to let myself hope, thought it was because I was the only person around nearly as strong as you" He finished quietly.  
  
"I was battling a god, I couldn't let my feelings for you get in the way of that, but time is short I think I owe you the truth". She said meaningfully.  
  
Spike swallowed as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently.  
  
"I am all ears pet," He said.  
  
"I think my feelings towards you have been changing for a long time, ever since Willow and that damned spell, when we were engaged". Buffy said.  
  
Spike chuckled, "Yeah I didn't mind that as much as I let on myself luv," He said.  
  
"Riley, I think was a symptom of that; I was running scared and needed normalcy, he was a nice guy but I often to my horror, found myself thinking of you" She admitted.  
  
"Riley knew you didn't love him like you should" said Spike.  
  
It was Buffy's turn to look surprised  
  
"We had quite a man to man chat about you, well as manly as Captain cardboard could be" He said smugly.  
  
"Well anyway; the long and the short of it is, I love you Spike. I wanted to tell you the other night; you know, when you came to the house with me to get weapons for the final battle, and you started with the, 'I know you will never love me ' speech.  
  
She glanced at Spike, to her surprise his head was bowed, instantly filled with concern; she placed a finger under his chin and lifted his face to meet hers.  
  
Buffy kissed away the tears, she saw sliding down his cheeks. Her lips were with in a hairs breadth of his; she pressed them lightly against Spike's, kissing him gently. They parted, both slightly out of breath,  
  
"Buffy; God how much I love you; I am not letting you go alone"  
  
"Spike." She began.  
  
"Sshhh pet I brought you here and its my job to take you back, where is back?" he asked.  
  
"I think I was in um. Heaven," she admitted.  
  
Spike smashed his hand against the wall of the cave, the shattered knuckles dripped with blood  
  
"I am a bloody idiot," he moaned.  
  
She cradled his injured hand in her own. Suddenly she gasped bending over with pain.  
  
"What is it love?" he asked  
  
"Oh God, the pain; this thing inside me, it feels like it's eating me from the inside out, I don't think we have much time before it takes me completely," she groaned.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"I think there is one place we have neglected to search," said Giles.  
  
"Where's that?" asked Xander wearily.  
  
"Well we haven't tried the initiative caves," said Giles.  
  
"We will never find them there, but I suppose we have to try, at least for Dawn's sake, said Xander.  
  
They stepped out of Giles's apartment into the brilliant sunshine of the new morning.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Spike you have to kill me, If you let this thing take me over, the damage it will do to this world will make glory's plans look like a picnic", Buffy begged him.  
  
"You are not going alone; you are not leaving me alone in this world with out you again" He finished forcefully.  
  
"I can't ask that of you, and what about Dawn? Who will watch out for her?" She said  
  
"It's my fault you are like this and I have to put it right, Dawn can take care of herself, she's a bright kid Buffy; she has a whole gang of scoobies to care for her," said Spike.  
  
"But if you die you will cease to exist; no soul remember?" She questioned  
  
"That's not strictly true sweetheart, did peaches never tell you that when a vampire sets up camp in its human host, it retains characteristics of that person?" asked Spike  
  
"Well. yes but I never really thought about what that means" said Buffy  
  
"It means that it holds on to some of the essence of it's victim, that's how we vamps manage to blend in so well with the human world, it is essential to our survival".  
  
Buffy placed a hand on Spike's chest. "You mean there is a little piece of William still in here?" She asked  
  
"That's exactly what I am saying, he was buried under the weight of a thousand murders; loving you redeemed him/me in some way, but 'William' is where my love for you comes from," said Spike.  
  
Buffy stared at him in wonder.  
  
Spike continued "There is an incomplete soul wandering around in your heaven, I have had enough of this life, I have a yearning to join him,"  
  
Buffy gazed at his determined expression.  
  
"How are you going to do it?" She asked.  
  
"Don't worry luv, I have thought about how we can both leave this mortal plane together," he reassured her.  
  
They stood, their arms wrapped around each other.  
  
Buffy whispered into his ear "I trust you Spike, just make it quick" she breathed.  
  
They both turned at the sound of footsteps coming from the interior of the cave, the familiar voices of Xander and Giles echoed off the walls.  
  
"Bloody hell! They've found us," swore Spike.  
  
Buffy clasped Spike's hand. "Quickly, before they find us here" she said.  
  
Spike lifted Buffy up into his arms, cradling her against his chest. He turned and walked towards the entrance of the cave. She finally understood how they would meet their "fate" together as Spike neared the opening. Rays of bright sunshine penetrated the weeds covering the cave mouth. Spike stepped forward.  
  
"I love you Buffy," he said bending his head to hers in one last kiss.  
  
"I love you too William" She sighed communicating her love to him through their kiss.  
  
"Spike! Don't do it," shouted Giles.  
  
Spike turned to face Giles and Xander; Giles paled, as he took in the sight of Buffy, very much alive in Spike's arms.  
  
"Buffy!" He said.  
  
"Don't," Buffy said as she saw Giles's eyes light up at the sight of her.  
  
"I came back wrong Giles, I have to die again, there is a powerful demon inside me, it came back when I did," she told him.  
  
Xander stood next to Giles softly weeping.  
  
"I hate you Spike! This is like losing Buffy all over again". Xander spat at him  
  
"Xander, don't cry, It's better this way; take care of Dawn for me and please don't tell her about any of this," she begged.  
  
Giles removed a handkerchief from his pocket and took off his glasses, wiping his eyes.  
  
"Wait!" said Giles.  
  
Spike turned and walked towards the light. He stood at the cave entrance, in the shadows.  
  
The last words she heard before they "stepped" out into the light was Giles's softly spoken "We love you Buffy, we will always love you".  
  
Spike pressed forward into the brilliant sunshine, Buffy's arms tightened around his neck. Pressing closer to him, she looked into his eyes and he smiled at her. The sunlight quickly consumed their bodies as Buffy's ignited from the heat of him. The pain was fleeting as they burst into a cloud of dust in unison. Giles and Xander stood at the mouth of the cave; they were just in time to see a cloud of dust blown away on the slight breeze.  
  
Spike carried on walking upward, Buffy still in his arms, they moved toward a light more brilliant than a thousand suns. There seemed to be people waiting behind the light. As they neared the crowd, a young man stepped forward to greet them. He had reddish brown hair, Spike let Buffy out of his arms, his eyes widening in recognition, and he left Buffy's side to walk towards the man. They stopped short of each other.  
  
"I believe you have something of mine," said the man.  
  
"This is you Spike? Before you were changed?" asked Buffy.  
  
"That's right they both said in unison".  
  
Spike "embraced" his other self and in a blinding flash, there stood only one of them.  
  
"Buffy; I love you," he said.  
  
She ran to him and looked up into his face. He smiled the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, she could see it was still her William, the lack of bleach blond hair was going to take some getting used to, but oh well they had eternity for that, she thought.  
  
They linked hands "Let's go home pet" He said as they walked into the crowd.  
  
THE END 


End file.
